Yummy Tasty Meats

Allow me to mention this right off the bat.  I don’t have any issue with the members of amputee_milfs reading this blog.  Some of them do so openly, so I know when they visit, some do so from behind proxies (which I’ve been known to pick on them for) and others follow the rss feed.  The reason, of course, I don’t mind this at all is rather obvious: It’s next to unthinkable that the starring subjects of a public blog wouldn’t at least check in on the blog from time to time.  That’s the same reason I want to see what has been said about me inside milfs.  Basic human curiosity.  Of course, I keep my blog open and public, the milfs feel they have to be secretive and sneaky, but that’s just the basic difference in our levels of courage and determination.  I’m happy to talk right to their faces, they’re cowardly little bitches that pee their panties and run and hide every time the big bad thorn calls them out.  So feel free, read all you want.

That said, I’ve noted an interesting phenomenon happening just recently.  While I’ve always seen a strange assortment of search terms leading people to this blog, usually along the lines of stuff like this, in the past week or so I’ve seen a marked increase in terms like “dorian thorn pictures”, “dorian thorn porn”, “dorian thorn videos”, “dorian thorn sex”, a few of which I noted on the screencap of today’s searches.

Why this renewed interest in my porn?  Sure, my ED page is gone, but if you do an image search on ED of the word “thorn”, believe me, all my pics are still on their servers.  And please don’t try to sell me on the idea that at least a few of you don’t have every last scrap of Thorn porn you’ve come across saved on your hard drives — that insults us both.  So why the renewed search?  Is it the same reason the words Dorian and Bacon are so interchangeable in your heads… that yummy tasty meat?  Perhaps you crave something new and different?

(well, of course it’s the milfs who are searching; because “no one cares”, I’m completely “not relevant”, so if that’s the case, it can only be members of amputee_milfs, which remains the only place on the Internet that at one time a full one-third of the entire community’s contents were entirely devoted to me — ahh, my fangirls)

Well, of course it’s out there, if you know where to look.  Which I think everyone does, actually: themeatpuppet.  The catch, of course, is that it’s a closed blog, because there’s things in there now that I can’t have just anybody viewing.  It’s remotely possible, true, that a few of the video clips included in that blog have found their way to the light of day… which, in fact, would go a long way towards explaining this current renewed interest.  But seriously, if you want all of them, plus the backstories explaining them, then you really need to get into the meatpuppet blog, and for that, you need a WordPress ID that’s approved by me as a reader of that blog.  Of course, WordPress only allows so many readers on a private blog, but I get around that by having a “general” username that is shared among a number of people who only check in every so often.

I’ve told you before, if you want that ID, all you need to do is ask.  I assure you, you would find it interesting.  Particularly the content in there that is very specifically milf-related.  Endless lulz.  And even better, because it’s a username I approved, it doesn’t even log on my tracking stuff!  How’s that for a deal?  Oh, yes, a deal.  I say you need only ask, but there is something I would ask in return.  It’s a small thing, not terribly complicated…

…but if you want to know, you need to ask.

And come now, I know you want to.

You can’t stay away, after all… and I know it’s not the Thorn you find so funny, it’s the meatpuppet that really brings the lulz.  And that’s exactly what I’m offering you…

What’s In A Name?

Well, I’ve had a busy few days, and have a good deal to add here, but not just yet, because some of the things I came across, I kind of wanted it to be a surprise.  So, some of it has to wait for right now.

On the other hand, there are some things I can mention right away, one of which has been on the back burner for awhile now.  But, for starters, I just recently came across this picture.  Now, I’ve been looking into it, and while I don’t have any evidence whatsoever that a member of amputee_milfs was behind it, I’m going to go ahead and credit them anyway (this is the great thing about them being so secretive; hiding only indicates that they have something to hide, keeping hidden from me only says it’s related to me… see the way that works?  Of course not, they’re idiots.).  Anyway, so we’re looking at an obviously milf-manufactured spoof of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray.  Have we forgotten already that Dorian Gray is my very namesake?  This is an even bigger failure than the BLT nickname.

To review once again, the name Dorian Lucifer Thorn came from three distinct sources, each for a variety of reasons.  Thorn came first; it was literally dropped into my lap back on July 24, 2000, starting it all.  Dorian followed shortly, taken from The Picture of Dorian Gray, because that was the book I was reading when I met a certain someone (in retrospect, it’s perhaps lucky I wasn’t reading the novelization of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai).  Lastly, Lucifer, bearer of light, truth, understanding, wisdom, and godfather of all outcasts.  So, as you can see, associating me with Dorian Gray is quite simply honoring both my origins and my namesake.  Even if the “picture” involved is me with “hi mom” written on my butt.  Like, seriously, who hasn’t seen that one yet?

Okay, moving along, let’s take a peek at these:

Now, if one was to chronicle all the places I’ve earned mentions on the Internet, you’d have a much bigger blog than this one.  Most are just casual mentions anyway, a pic or two, a few chuckling comments, all done publicly and not hidden (imagine that, milfs?) and in fact I’ve made quite a few friends by finding stuff like that and posting the occasional reply.  But this one was a little more interesting.  It’s her use of the word “insist” that caught my attention.  Why do Chris-chan and I insist on having nudes on the Internet?  Um… in my own recollection, neither of us insisted upon that at all.  Chris-chan’s were completely trolled out of him, then published on ED, quite against his wishes, I believe.  Mine, I published one entry in one LiveJournal community containing about half a dozen, emailed a few others to an LJ user, and provided a link to a Flickr account with more.  Then, they were all published on ED, without my hand in the matter at all.  It wasn’t until later, after it was discovered that goombatree and I were one and the same, and my ED page turned into a “OMGZ BEST TROLLZ EVER” page that I finally started to get in on things.  Big egos had nothing to do with it, I assure you (having a monstrous ego myself, believe me, I know the difference — it didn’t even faze me that she called me “unattractive”.  Not everyone can find me as irresistible as eggplant does).

Don’t remember any of that?  Good think I keep track of these things.  Before it was made Article of the Now, before anyone figured out I was goombatree (except, of course, every single member of amputee_milfs, because they all knew right from the start), my ED page originally looked like this.

Now, does that really look like something I’d insist upon having online?

Ironically enough, looking back… that actually was the original plan…

Oh, and of course I looked into the two users on that forum, did a bit of digging.  According to her profile, the one who made the original comment is from Ann Arbor, MI, which of course immediately brought a certain member of milfs under suspicion, but then, that profile also says she’s only 18, and that certain milf isn’t quite that fresh.  But then, milfs are patently dishonest as a rule, so I’m happy to credit her anyway.

Because seriously, how many people in Ann Arbor can actually be that interested in me?  The milfs have always said I’ve got zero degree of “e-fame”, and if that’s accurate (because so much the milfs say is, of course), that brings the list of people in the Ann Arbor area that are known to belong to communities that posted regularly about me down to about… one.

Regarding ED Questions

Ok, since I’ve had about a million questions regarding this, allow me to address this here:

• I do not know what inspired the ED sysops to blank/edit/whatever-you-call-that to my page after all this time.  I’d assumed (from ED’s point of view anyway) that I was a long forgotten article, but apparently not.  Whatever.  Love me, or love to hate me, it’s all good.
• I do not know, nor do I care, which one of the amputee_milfs Coffeepusher is.  I’m not even sure they are one.  You said that, not me.

The reason I don’t know any of this is due to the fact that being featured on an ED page, or writing an ED page, does not make one privy to the inner working of ED.  I’m sure even Chris-Chan knows more about that side of it than me.

Encyclopedia Dramatica is an open wiki.  Who chooses to edit what is beyond any single person’s control.  Changes made there are wholly irrelevant to me.  The only circumstances that exist in which I would use ED for my own purposes and have to completely count on content remaining unchanged is if I were Girlvinyl herself.  I am not (last I checked) so my options remain as flexible as the wiki itself.  I figured that was just common sense, but people seem to be acting as though ED being edited is something that should concern me.  Believe me, it doesn’t.

To sum up, the short answer to basically every question I’ve gotten on it is:

I simply don’t care.

ETA: They think Coffeepusher is me.  o_O  Coffeepusher was trying to remove me from ED.  My actual sock puppets add stuff!  Has anyone seriously not figured this out yet?  But of course…

…everyone on the internet is really Dorian Thorn…

ETA2: Since I’m making a bunch of entries public; regarding these changes to my ED, be sure to see the real story behind that here and here and here.  Compare what I wrote in those with what I wrote in this entry… see what I did there?

ED Addendum

Just noticed something:  ED’s removal of my pages continues to benefit me!  In the past few days, my blog hits here have started spiking up higher than usual, and they’re coming from more online searches for “dorian thorn”, “dorian thorn encyclopedia dramatica”, etc.  In other words, since now ED contains only the one pic, with no explanation whatsoever except for some generic name-calling, people who want to know more are searching my name out online, and of course, once they do that, they are being directed right here, to this blog, where the whole story is told not only more comprehensively, but without any of the ED clutter.  Now the only point of view the Internet gets is mine.

If I’d realized having that done to my ED page was going to make this blog that much more popular, I would have “sabotaged” it myself ages ago.

So, thanks again, ED, for the free advertising (again), and for locking it all to make it self-sustaining.  I don’t have to watch ED anymore, don’t have to keep an eye on anything there.  That’s going to make things a lot more convenient.

Plus, the pics that got locked onto my ED profile would make for some amazing “BLT wuz here” trolling pics…

ED, you’ve been nothing but amazing for me.  I may actually miss you a little LOL

I should make a public post about this, though, considering all the people who’ve asked me about it.  Just be sure not to mention the fact that, yes, I know exactly why that happened to my page, because, well, I planned it that way ;)

ETA: who the hell is “coffeepusher”?  Wiping me off ED totally?  Because that doesn’t just scream “milf” or anything… grrrr…

ETA2: Never mind, problem solved.  Thanks yet AGAIN, ED…

Encyclopedia Dramatica

HOLY CRAP that worked better than I could have possibly imagined!!  All I did was ask a few questions about my ED page, and suddenly, my WHOLE PAGE is gone and locked, my PROFILE is gone and locked, and even the MILF page is gone and locked!  It all just re-directs to my page, which only has ONE pic left on it!!

(ironically, a pic I uploaded myself LOL)

And the pages aren’t just removed, they’re completely erased!!

This could be amazingly beneficial….

ED, I love you.  You have served me SO well, and only continue to do so.  Thanks for, once again, doing exactly as I “asked” MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Let’s… do this again sometime…

FUCK

DAMMIT.

Some jackass from England is trolling my meatpuppet blog (haha yes trolling me), which is fine, but he’s re-posting the pics to my ED page.  This cannot be permitted.  I cannot let my ED page turn into a “meatpuppet” page; it needs to remain either the way it is or be gone.

Could I get a sysop to lock it?  And would that really do any good, because pages are seldom locked forever…?  Hurm.  Plus, showing aversion to anything on ED would only guarantee it remained…

Actually… I’d be willing to bet I could get the page yanked entirely.  If, rather than ask a sysop, if I could just annoy one, this could work greatly to my benefit.  I mean, it still leaves my profile and such open for attack, plus a few other pages that feature me heavily (goddamn milfs page; that’s turned into an albatross and a half, should never have done that) but the main page featuring me might get locked up or something.  From ED’s standpoint, I’m hideously old news by now…

Forums!  The ED forums!  THAT’S my “in” here.  They already don’t like me there, if the discussion in the sysop areas are any indication.  If I play up the “USI attention whore” angle, it’s bound to piss someone off…